


The Twelve Nights of Fucking

by toastkat



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: BDSM, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, PWP, Porn Without Plot, Sexual Content, but don't, i don't want you to get in trouble, implied sex, please, poetry rewrite, really don't sing it out loud, sexually explicit, works best if you sing it out loud, you have to imagine the scene as you read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21955567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toastkat/pseuds/toastkat
Summary: The Twelve Days of Christmas, as sung by Dante and Vergil on their holiday honeymoon.
Relationships: Dante/Vergil (Devil May Cry)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	The Twelve Nights of Fucking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CrimsonTwin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=CrimsonTwin).



A sexual rewrite of [The Twelve Days of Christmas](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/42913/the-twelve-days-of-christmas) by Anonymous, which can be visited by clicking the title (because AO3's Parent URL thing isn't working for some reason?)

Authors Note: I added the numbers by the lines of the verses in case you _were_ singing it like I did and need to keep the tempo. 

On the first night of fucking,

My Vergil came from me

(1) Giving him his first blow-ie.

On the second night of fucking,

My Dante came from the

(2) Two fingers deep,

(1) Stroking in just the right place.

On the third night of fucking,

My Vergil came from the

(3) Three spank-ings,

(2) Two nipple clamps,

(1) And by say-ing he’s a good boy.

On the fourth night of fucking,

My Dante came from the

(4) Four anal beads,

(3) Three inch chains,

(2) Two fuzzy cuffs,

(1) And a bullet on setting three.

On the fifth night of fucking,

Our date was ruined by

(5) Five hour fights

(4) Up Palace floors,

(3) Three used stars,

(2) Two bosses beat,

(1) And forgetting the goddamn lube.

On the sixth night of fucking,

My Dante came from the

(6) Six bars a-hopping,

(5) Five absinthe shots,

(4) Four dollar wings,

(3) Three soft words,

(2) One hidden plug

(1) And a blowjob in the men’s room.

On the seventh night of fucking,

My Vergil came from the

(7) Gentle back massaging

(6) With the mink-lined glove,

(5) One hour bath,

(4) Two glasses of

(3) Fine plum wine,

(2) Two oiled hands,

(1) And an evening of pampering.

On the eight night of fucking,

My Dante came from the

(8) Eight men a-dancing,

(7) Dollar bills a-flying,

(6) Heart-beat a-pounding,

(5) Five minute prep,

(4) Black corset tied,

(3) Lace stock-ings,

(2) Two resined poles,

(1) And my own stage for a solo.

On the ninth night of fucking,

My Vergil came from the

(9) Nine incher thrusting,

(8) Hard cock a-milking,

(7) Gasping breath a-singing,

(6) Soft lips a-begging,

(5) Five condom packs,

(4) Four water breaks,

(3) Three neck bites,

(2) Two fingers sucked,

(1) And a climax that sent him screaming.

On the tenth night of fucking,

My Dante came from the

(10) Ten fingers tugging,

(9) Nine praises whispered,

(8) Eight volts a-shocking,

(7) Seven studs a-piercing,

(6) Six drops a-licking,

(5) Five paddle swats,

(4) Four broken posts,

(3) Three belt straps,

(2) Two blushing cheeks,

(1) And kiss-ing until we’re breathless.

On the eleventh night of fucking,

My Vergil came from the

(11) Eleven petals falling,

(10) Ten roses blooming,

(9) Nine candles burning,

(8) Good wand a-rubbing,

(7) Incense stick a-smoking,

(6) Green tea a-brewing,

(5) Warm metal balls

(4) On bristled gloves,

(3) Three rom-coms,

(2) Blue backless dress,

(1) And a roof-top candle-light date.

On the twelfth night of fucking,

My true love laid with me.

(12) Wrapped together cuddling,

(11) Exhausted, hungry, thirsty,

(10) We’re really tired.

(9) Like even demons

(8) Can’t fuck forever.

(7) Humans can’t accomplish

(6) Twelve nights a-fucking,

(5) So half-sies can?

(4) Long story short,

(3) Dates went well,

(2) See you next year,

(1) And Merry Fucking everyone.


End file.
